The One with the Frobaby

I talked to the lab this morning to find out if any of our embryos made it to freeze.  After proving my identity in Mission: Impossible fashion, I finally got one of the embryologists on the phone.  She told me that we had one embryo that made it to freeze.  The rest didn't meet the guidelines and didn't develop enough to be viable for freezing.

One frobaby out of seven possible embryos.

I let this news wash over me today.  It was a good thing I was nannying and had the littles to distract me today ("She stole my car!"  "He pointed at me!"  "It's not fair!"  Wah, wah, wah!) because it was definitely a tough pill to swallow.  I mean, if Thing 1 and Thing 2 decide not to chill in my ute for the foreseeable future, we only have one frobaby for a transfer at a later time.  Part of me feels completely selfish for even thinking this.  We got three great embryos out of this whole stabby-needle, hormone-raging process.  Some women don't even get one.  The other part of me is high on Endometrin and wants to scream "It's not fair" at the top of my lungs.  I am attempting to find a balance between these two alter egos.  I am also finding that some depressing music and a few tears helped during the car ride home today.  And homemade pizza.  That can solve even the most difficult of situations.

I was texting back and forth with my mom today about the frobaby and she brought up a point I had never fully considered.

More on this point after some rambling background info.

While she was here last weekend and asking me eleventy jillion questions about all this, we were talking about the frobabies.  She didn't realize that they were embryos that got frozen; she thought it was just the eggs.  In typical ex-nun fashion (yeah she used to be a nun...whoooole other post going on there), she asked what happened to the ones we don't use.  I explained how we agreed that they would be donated for research purposes and while she absolutely supports that concept, my uber-Catholic mother was also concerned about the life that embryo represents.  I absolutely get her.  I feel that way too.  However, I also know the reality of the situation and realize that other women can benefit from what I can't use.  I don't like to think about my babies having research done on them.  It's one of those not always talked about IVF conundrums that goes with the territory.

Back to the point of this long winded story.

She told me this morning when I relayed the one frobaby information that she believes that somehow God has "spared" me the decision of what to do about 6 living embryos.  I never really thought about it in that context.  There are parts of me that believe the whole "everything happens for a reason" stuff; other parts of me call bullshit and say it's not worth the paper it's printed on.  But, for whatever reason, this idea of God helping out with this process and these decisions gave me some peace.  Don't get me wrong, I know my embryos that didn't make it to freeze may also be used for research, but those are the little ones that didn't keep dividing or were fragmented or would have never been able to implant.  Doesn't mean I don't grieve for them not making it.  But, it does mean that I appreciate what my mother told me today.  God certainly has a hand in all of this.  For what it's worth, I don't think God's plan is for me to be infertile and for my embryos to not survive.  I just think he's got some kind of plan for me.  I don't know what the hell it is most of the time, but I need to believe he does.

Sorry if that got too preachy for you.  Just the things swirling in my head right now.

Alright, I'm done with the babbling tonight.  It will be time for a vag pill soon and they make me sleepy.  Plus there is a DVRed episode of "Dance Moms" that is calling my name.  Don't you dare judge me!

The One with the Update

Just a quick update about how our embies are doing today.  I talked to the IVF lab a few minutes ago and all 9 embies are continuing to develop very nicely.  After fertilization, the cells start to divide.  On day 2 (today), they like to see the embies between 2 and 4 cells each.  She told me we have 4 embies that are 2-cells, 3 embies that are 3-cells, and 2 embies that are 4-cells.  All of the embryos are of very good quality.  That is great news for our little ones!

She let me know that we are going to do a transfer tomorrow (Monday) morning at 8:45 am.  This is a 3-day transfer.  Sometimes, they stretch this out to a 5-day transfer to watch for more dividing, but a 3-day transfer is more common.  Hubs is going to go back to work tomorrow, so my mom is going to come with me for the transfer.  So, I  return to the center tomorrow morning with a full bladder and have one or two little ones (we decide tomorrow) put back inside my ute where it (they) will hopefully take up residence for the next 9 months.

We could use all the sticky prayers and vibes you can offer!  I'll do another update tomorrow after I am officially transferred.

P.S. TMI alert: These vag pills are terrible.  I am buying stock in Always panty liners and I feel gross!  Just a little nugget of info for your Sunday morning.

The One with All the Details

This post will give all the nitty gritty details of the egg retrieval on Friday, along with the latest on our little embryos.

Hubs and I left our house around 6:30 on Friday morning and took the short drive to our RE's office.  

Can you feel my excitement about needles in my vag?

We checked in and were directed upstairs to the floor where the retrieval would take place.  After a few minutes, the nurse came out to get me.  I said good bye to Hubs, wished him good luck with his dance with the cup, and headed off to be violated with needles.  

The nurses had me change into the oh-so-glamourous hospital gown and got me a warm blanket while I waited for the doctors.  I met the RE who was doing the retrieval and the anesthesiologist.  The nurse asked me a bunch of questions and the anesthesiologist got me outfitted with an IV (finding a vein was once again an issue).  I walked into the operating room and got up on the table.  The anesthesiologist told me he was going to add the sleepy medicine to my IV and that it didn't take long to work.  I remember the ceiling looked like it was moving and the next thing I know, I woke up in the recovery room.  Apparently, he wasn't lying about the meds working quickly!

The awesome nurses were there when I woke up and told me to just rest for a little while.  I think I fell back to sleep for a bit and when I woke back up, I felt pretty groggy but in very little pain.  The nurses checked on me and got me some water and crackers.  I asked about how many eggs were retrieved and they told me 13.  I was happy with that number considering we had 10 measurable follies at the last monitoring appointment.

As I was sitting and relaxing for a bit, Hubs walked into the recovery room.  I wasn't expecting to see him until I went back out the waiting room and the nurses said they brought him in because there were no other patients on the floor and they thought I would like to see him.  Hubs filled me in on how his part of the baby making process had gone.  He complained to the nurses that the DVD player in his room o' fun wasn't working.  Good thing he had his phone with him for his viewing pleasure!  Needles in the vag vs. porn on the phone...totally a fair division for this process!

The nurses had me use the bathroom and I got dressed after they took out my IV.  They also called the lab to check and make sure we had enough swimmers in Hubs' sample (he was worried about this).  The lab was very happy with the sample and told us that they were going to ICSI the eggs that afternoon.  ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection) allows the embryologist to inject a single sperm into the egg allowing for the greatest chance of fertilization.  We were told to expect a phone call on Saturday with an update.  I didn't take any pain meds after the surgery so the nurses said I could take Tylenol at home if I needed it.

Hubs and I headed home and I spent the entire day on the couch.  I watched movies, napped, and sent out a bunch of emails and text messages about how things had gone.  I kept myself hydrated with lots of water and G2.

Check out my stylish hospital bracelet.  Hubs and I had matching ones.  We decided to keep them to start a baby book if this crazy process works!

I woke up from a nap definitely needing the Tylenol and it helped with the cramping.  I really can't complain too much about the discomfort considering what some women go through after their retrieval.  

This morning (Saturday), Max was up bright and early and Hubs got up to play with him.  I got out of bed to take my first Endometrin pill.  This is a progesterone supplement that helps my body to get ready for the transfer and maintain a pregnancy.  I have begun referring to this as the "vag pill."  It is a suppository and has to be inserted 3 times a day at 8-hour intervals.  Add it to the list of super fun IVF meds!  I'm feeling much better today and have just a little cramping.

Around 9ish this morning, I got a call from the IVF lab.  The embryologist told me that of the 13 eggs that were retrieved, 11 were mature.  They ICSI'd those 11 and 9 fertilized normally.  The two that didn't fertilize normally may still develop overnight, but we just have to wait and see.  So, at this point, we are working with 9 embies.  We may end up with less than that once all is said and done, but we are thrilled with that number at this point.  The lab will call again on Sunday and let me know how our embies are doing and when we can expect to do a transfer (either Monday or Wednesday).

So, now we wait and pray and hope that everything continues to move forward.  I am taking this all one day at a time and I feel really good about everything right now.

Back to the couch for more lounging.  Continued prayers are greatly appreciated.