Thursday, August 14, 2014

The One with the Fifteen Month Update

Yes, I'm way late on this.  No excuse other than raising a human.


Liam Michael you are

FIFTEEN MONTHS OLD!


Summer vacation has been tons of fun around here and Mama is loving all the time she gets to spend with you.

What are your stats and what does the doctor say?
We visited Dr. G. earlier this week and you weighed in at 31 pounds, 1 ounce.  You are 32 inches tall.  You are above average in both height and weight, but your giant head size has started to level off! Dr. G. was happy with everything that's been going on with you and said you seem like a great kid (Mommy and Daddy agreed!).  Mommy talked to him a little about your speech (or lack thereof) and he didn't seem concerned at this point.  We are going to wait it out for a bit and see how things go in the next few months.  

What are you eating?
Eating continues to be one of your favorite things to do (see your stats above!).  You haven't tried anything new this month, but still enjoy all your staples - fruit, macaroni, chicken, yogurt, and cheese.  You are using a spoon and fork with a little more independence, although it does make meals even messier!  You are still drinking whole milk, but everything is now in a straw cup...no more bottles in this house!  You haven't been too interested in much milk before bed, so we are thinking it won't be long before you are going to bed without any. 

We bribe you with apples at the grocery store to keep you from causing a ruckus!

 And then there was that day you ate a whole tomato.  Weirdo!

When do you sleep and eat?
Things have changed a little with your sleep this month, mostly to try to get you ready for daycare (more on that later).  You are awake most mornings by 6:30, although when Daddy was on vacation you were sleeping until at least 7:00.  Once your diaper is changed, you get your cup of milk and roam the house while Daddy gets ready for work and Mommy gets organized for the day.  We usually do breakfast around 7:30.  If we are out and about in the morning (errands, swim class, etc.), you don't take a morning nap.  Lunch is a little earlier on those days because you are ready to go down for a nap by 12:30ish.  On a good day, you sleep for about two hours.  If you do take a morning nap, you nap later in the afternoon and those naps tend to be an hour to an hour and a half each.  Dinner is around 5:30 and you are still asleep by 7:30 most nights.

What size clothes and diapers are you wearing?
You are still in 18 month and 18-24 month clothes, but you are wearing 24 month pajamas and a few summer outfits in that size too.  You are still in size 4 Pampers Cruisers during the day and size 5 Huggies Overnites with a liner at night.

What are some things you love?
You are still a huge fan of being outside.  You will stand at the slider and bang until we put your shoes on and take you out (and you get mighty mad when you can't go outside).  You love going in your swing that Daddy finally put up.  You love pushing your Fisher Price Puppy Walker around and have learned to back it up when you crash it into something.  You are taking more of an interest in cars and trucks and have played with your big Legos more this month.  You still love walks in your stroller and wagon and Mommy even got brave enough to take Max with us on our wagon walks (it's a hot mess but you both enjoy it!).  You like to snuggle with your giant stuffed bear and will tackle it on the floor.  You love looking at pictures and videos of yourself and have been "playing" with your reflection in the mirror.  You also love anything with a straw and Mommy and Daddy can't leave their drinks around unless they want them to get swiped!  You are a huge fan of lawn mowers and big construction vehicles.


What are your favorite books and toys?
You are still loving books and will pick out ones for us to read together every night.  At the moment, you love Good Dog, CarlGoodnight MoonSheep in a Jeep, and Can You Find Colors?.  You love your Bubble Mower and Cozy Coupe.  You also love anything you can't have - the pill bottles, the sugar bowl, the glass dishes.  You love playing with the phones and remotes.

What are some things you don't love?
You, like every other toddler in the world, do not like it when things don't go your way or you can't have something you want.  You are a pretty happy boy, but you can definitely get angry when life isn't going the way you want it to.  Hence, the next category...

What is your behavior like?
Living with a toddler is kinda like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  One minute, life is fabulous and wonderful and the next, there is a full blown meltdown for no apparent reason.  You are certainly in the throes of toddler-dom, my friend.  You have taken to minor tantrums and will definitely cry and kick if you are upset.  You are also a hitter and attempt to bite.  A lot of this has to do with inability to verbally communicate what you want.  You try to tell us something with pointing or noises, we don't understand, you get frustrated and then do a split onto the floor while you scream.  You are usually able to be redirected pretty easily ("Liam, let's go find Max."  "Liam let's go play with the bowls and spoons.") and are still a sweet and happy kid for the most part.

Letting you dig into the makeup or tear up magazines in the only way Mommy gets a chance to pee during the day!

What can you do?
This month, you learned to blow kisses (well half blow kisses - you put your hand up to your mouth).  You also can now do the signs for open and timer (we made this one up to show when you wanted the oven timer on).  You have half of the sign for thank you as well.  You are learning about "nice boy hands" - for you this means gently scratching someone.  Let Mommy explain this one...several weeks ago when you were hitting Max, we showed you how to scratch his back and "do nice" to him.  Now, anytime we tell you to use "nice boy hands" to us, you "scratch" us like you would do to Max!  It's better than hitting!  You have also learned to stick your finger up your nose and you think it's pretty funny when you do it.  You put your hands up in the air when someone asks you a question you don't know the answer to as if you are saying "I don't know."

What are you saying?
You still don't have any words and as mentioned above, the doctor isn't concerned yet.  Mommy and Daddy aren't either, but it helps to hear it from the doctor too.  Your receptive vocabulary is awesome and you understand so much of what we say.  We are encouraging you to say something anytime you want something, instead of only pointing and making noises.  So, when Mommy tells you to say "phone" and you come out with an eight syllable "word", at least you are realizing you need to say something!  

How many teeth do you have?
You officially have 16 teeth and will go to the dentist for the first time in October.

What is Mommy and Daddy's Parents of the Year moment this month?
This one is all Mommy.  You were playing in Mommy and Daddy's bedroom with Mommy one afternoon.  With Mommy standing right there, you tripped over your own feet and your mouth hit the side rail of the bed.  You instantly started screaming and all Mommy saw was blood.  You had managed to hit just under your lip against the bed and there was a pretty big cut.  It didn't take you too long to settle down, but the bleeding would not stop.  We were very close to taking you to the hospital to see if you needed stitches.  The bleeding finally stopped after what felt like hours and you were completely fine by that evening.  Mommy is still recovering!

Yes, that is blood all over the towel and a swollen and cut lip as a result of the fall.

What are some firsts from this month?
This month has been a busy one for firsts.  You went swimming in the pond for the first time with Daddy.  You also started swim classes at the YMCA.  You were not pleased for the first 10 minutes or so of the first class (the water was a little chilly), but now you absolutely love it.  You splash and kick and don't want to leave when class is over.   You went blueberry picking at the farm.  You took your first ride on an airplane to North Carolina.  You did very well, although being confined on Mommy's lap got old real fast.  You went to your first wedding while we were down there, but you were home in bed before the real fun started.  You also helped Daddy mow the lawn and rode on a turtle's back.

"You mean you want me to jump into that big bathtub?"

It was very Blueberries for Sal - you ate way more than went into your bucket!

 Cutest little wedding guest ever.

Benjamin Franklin - the 60 year old, 350 pound turtle on the side of the road in North Carolina...only in the South.

What are we looking forward to in the next month?
While Mommy is most definitely not looking forward to this, you start "school" at the end of the month.  You are going to be there two days a week when Mommy goes back to work and Nana will watch you the other three days.  We will be going to visit your "girlfriends" in CT for a playdate.  We are also planning to take you to your first baseball game.

While you can certainly be a handful at times, you are so very fun and full of personality and we love you so much!


Thursday, August 7, 2014

The One with OAD NBC

Or alternatively titled: The One with the Very Long Acronym.

Side note - Liam's 15 month post is coming.  We go for his check-up on Monday, so I am waiting for official stats before I publish the monthly update.

Okay, back to the acronym.

OAD = One And Done

NBC = Not By Choice

So, in essence, it means only having one child but not because that's how you want it to be.

In case you didn't pick up the news yet, frobaby did not implant.  It did not think my uterus was a fun place to hang out for nine (ten) months and I am therefore completely and totally not pregnant.

My beta was yesterday morning (huge bruise from the blood draw obviously) and the nurse called in the afternoon with the news.  It was not a shocker to be honest.

I had been spotting since late last week and had that "my period is coming any second now" feeling (despite the fact that the huge needles were supposed to stop that from happening).  I didn't feel the "twinges" I had with Liam and something in me really just knew I wasn't pregnant.  Didn't make hearing the "unfortunately, you are not pregnant" news any easier, just expected.

Hubs and I agreed before this FET that if it didn't work, we weren't going to do another fresh cycle.  We are getting to the point where we are paying off some large debts that we have incurred over the years and while our insurance covers a whole lot of the costs with IVF, we still have a large co-pay.  Plus, the emotional and physical tolls associated with another fresh cycle are huge and I'm just not sure I can handle it.  On top of that, there's no guarantee it would work.  We were ridiculously lucky to get pregnant on our first IVF cycle and I don't know if it would happen on the first try again.

So, we are a one child family.  I would be completely full of shit if I said I wasn't disappointed about that.  I want Liam to have a (non furry) sibling.  I want him to grow up with another kid around.  I want him to have someone after we are gone (I know that's morbid but it's one of my thoughts).

I am still dealing with the emotional repercussions of this.  I never get to be pregnant again.  I never get to watch a baby dance inside me on an ultrasound machine again.  I never get to feel those amazing kicks and jabs again.  I never get to feel like freaking Super Woman for giving birth to a baby with no meds again.  I never get to experience the newborn smell again.  I never get to use all those teeny tiny clothes again.

I love Liam with every ounce of my being and as I sit here typing with the video monitor next to me watching him toss and turn in his crib because another damn tooth is coming in and tears streaming down my cheeks, I know in my heart that he (and Hubs and Max) are enough.  I know that we are a happy family with an exorbitant amount of blessings.  I know that God made me that little boy's mother to teach me about unconditional love and how infinite that love can be.

But right now, I also know that I am sad and this completely sucks.