Saturday, August 11, 2012

The One with Yemen

My ovaries are still the laziest creatures on Earth.

I went in for my monitoring appointment this morning and while there have been some small changes, I am still considerably behind schedule.  Hubs came with me to the appointment and got a lesson in vag cam 101 while he was there.

Stabbing episode #486 was up first and when the phlebotomist saw my arm she gasped out loud.  Gee, thanks that makes me feel a ton better about how my arm is looking!  I asked her to look for a vein on the left arm since my right was so angry and she tried her hardest to find something over there.  With no luck, she asked about going over to the right.  Obviously, I didn't have a choice so I let her poke around over there for a bit.  She finally found one to the side of the monster bruise and did a little digging around before she got a vein.  In my next life, I am asking God for veins fit for a heroin addict.  I don't think it's an unreasonable request.

Hubs (who had to leave the room during the blood work because of his needle-phobia) and I went across the hall to take a look at my follies.  The tech was super nice and explained everything she was doing to Hubs as she went.  This time, she gave me a paper to record my follie size.  They only measure ones that are more than 12mm in size.  On the left, I didn't have any that were measurable at this point, but I had 7 that she could see.  This is up from the 4 on Wednesday.  On the right, she found 3 that were measurable.  One was at 16, one was at 14, and one was at 12.  Then there were 6 that weren't measurable yet.  A small improvement from Wednesday, but not the numbers I want to see on day 9 of stims.  She told me to try not to stress out about it and that I'd get a phone call later today with the update to my plan.

I am starting to get so frustrated and impatient here.  I allowed myself a small cry while Hubs put some gas in his monstrosity of a truck and had a few moments of woe is me.  This IF stuff sucks big fat balls.  Everything is so wait-and-see and there are days when I honestly feel like we are never going to get a take home baby.  It's so incredibly hard to stay positive when your body is fighting you every step of the way.  From the beginning, there has always been a part of me that wondered if there was something else wrong with me that was causing us not to get pregnant and that the doctors had missed.  Even with all the testing we went through, I still had this small voice in my head (she sounds like Janice from "Friends" btw) telling me, "Oh.  My.  God.  How do you know that something else isn't wrong?  Did they really check for everything?"  I usually tell Janice to get on a plane and go to 15 Yemen Road, Yemen (go watch this episode of "Friends" if you haven't seen it), but there are days when she and her annoying voice creep in.  Today is definitely one of those days.

This video can't be embedded on the blog, but it will take you to the YouTube clip and it's the best on I could find.

Several hours have gone by since I started this post and I heard back from the nurse.  All of my meds are going to stay the same and I am going back in on Monday for blood work and an ultrasound.  My E2 level was up to 393 which is good news (it was at 90 on Wednesday).  The nurse seems to think we are still on track for a Wednesday or Thursday retrieval.  The e2 level gave me a little more hope, but I am still having a Janice day.  As one of my friends told me it's better to freak out now before the little buggers are in there.  I'm going to embrace the "blah" day and know tomorrow will be a new and more positive day.

Hubs and I are going to watch a movie.  Maybe it takes place in Yemen...


  1. I know these days! They suck! Just remember what you told me...let yourself have these days, they are normal. Get it out and you'll feel better!

  2. In the 9 years ive known you I've never seen you cry and I actually said that to my husband the other day....crying relieves stress....try it once a day. I do it all the time. This will happen matter how it happens you will come home with a baby. Xo